Is there steam coming out of my ears?

…cause I’m really, really pissed!

I made a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday for Kelly to get her asthma re-evaluated and her maintenance meds upped as she has grown.  She was in the ER Monday night breathing just terribly so we really needed a follow-up visit.  I had to wait until Friday for the appointment because we had just about $40 for the rest of the week and all of that had to go towards gas just to get me to work, and oh a few eating items so we wouldn’t starve.  Geez, I remember when that much money in gas would have been way more than my VW bug tank could even hold!

So I took all of Friday off for the doctor’s visit, as it made no sense to go to Earth City to work for a few hours, drive all the way up to Winfield to get Kel from school, and then back down to St. Charles for the doctor…a trip that by the time we got home again would have been well over 100 miles and more gas than I cared to use up.  While I didn’t really want to burn one of my few remaining PTO days, I figured it was worth it, considering the alternative.

because she's worth it

The day started well enough, with warm morning snuggles with my sweet man, and Kelly getting out to the bus with absolutely no fanfare whatsoever (and that’s unusual!).  I snoozed until 10:30, got up, took a nice long shower and luxuriated in my new Jessicurl hair products while Joshua went to go get his check.  After that we goofed off for a bit, then I kissed him bye-bye and drove to Winfield to pick up Miss K.  I even got to meet her “boyfriend” (in quotes because, well, they are 8th graders   I remarked how I liked his multiple (gauged-out) earrings and he remarked that he liked my pentacle I always wear.

What a kewl mom am I, eh?

Simple and pleasant enough.

Should have been, but it wasn’t.  Since we just started with new insurance — and don’t EVEN get me started on that! — I didn’t have anything magically “plastic” to show the nimrods at the doctor’s office, just the paper the insurance folks had me print out from their website to prove I was with them now.  That was enough for the hospital, but nopers, not the doc’s office.  Apparently plastic is the only thing official and paper doesn’t count  They said they called Cigna to check about my coverage and were told “I wasn’t in the system yet.”  WTF???  Ok, now I’m livid, as I work in the health insurance industry and I know how these things are done.  No way, no how was I “not in the system” two weeks after I was considered covered and had it in writing, to boot.

I was told I would have to re-schedule.  Oh, hell! no! Not after everything I had to go through just to make it down there today, and taking the day off and everything.  This stuff ain’t easy, folks!

Or…I could pay $95 to see the doctor right away and then be reimbursed by the insurance company at a later time.  Oh, double-hell! no! I had to wait all the way until today just so I had the crummy $35 for the co-payment — I sure freakin’ wasn’t going to be able to give them $95!!!  Then the chick said, well I could leave them a post-dated check for when I get paid on Wednesday and they would hold it (never mind that I have asked them to do that before for me in the past but they just couldn’t seem to handle that, nopers).  So no thank you on that option too.  It’s bad enough I will have $200 less in each paycheck from now on to pay for the insurance.  The last thing I need is another almost 100 eaten out of it for some over-educated, under-whelming MD to poke and prod my kid and tell me something I already know.  I am only there for the meds she needs to LIVE, dude!  I am not there to worship you and line your pockets.  And all I could think was that somewhere in Canada my identical twin was getting all the healthcare she and her kids needed without all this hassle.

Kelly thought it was stupid, too

So I asked.  I asked very nicely (well, as nice as I could muster up).  Ok, I said, I can’t see the doc today but could he please give her some pulmicort respules and an albuterol inhaler until we could figure something else out.  They have done this happily in the past, sending me home with bags full of med samples.  “No,” the bitch the lady says. “You won’t be getting any drugs from us today.”  Like I’m gonna go sell albuterol and pulmicort on the street corner so I can buy crack before my next john comes along.  Yeah, that’s it.

I stifled the urge to slap her upside the head, then took my offending papers back from her hands.  Calmly I told Kelly let’s go and grabbed my purse and keys.  As she got up and we started to leave, I hear behind me: “You know, it’s rather irresponsible of you to not get medical care for your daughter.”

Folks, it’s a good thing I did not have an uzi on me at that moment, as several people would no longer have heads and I would be sitting laughing maniacally in a padded cell.  I pursed my lips and nodded smugly, dismissively.  Fine, I told them, I would be back on Monday to pick up my children’s medical records.  We would be going elsewhere in the future, thank you very much.  And then we left.

Are my ears still steaming??

After that we got some lunch (which sucked), we bought some cat litter (oh yay), and I picked up some beer (not enough).  On the way home we stopped by the post office.  Gotta catch ‘em during those few seconds they are open each day, for heaven’s sake, ya know there eh?

Kelly ran in and got the mail while I sat in the car, fuming quietly and wondering what I could break that no one cared about or I wouldn’t hurt my hands doing so ’cause hey, I’m a musician.  She came back out and handed me the haul, which was quite a bit from several days of us not being able to pick it up.

I thumbed idly through it all…bills, junk, bills, campaign stuff…bills, yadda yadda…and then, there it was.

Are you ready?

Are you *really” ready?

Wait for it…

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My insurance card had arrived…a day late and a dollar short, as my grandma used to always say.  There it was: shiny new and perfectly plastic and all nine kinds of proof I had drained my bank account for the honor of carrying it around with me and presenting it proudly to people who have more money than I could ever dream of just so they could tell me stuff I already know.

Had I had more gas money I would have zoomed back down to that damn office and waved that card in their uber suburban made-up faces with their puppy-dog pseudo scrubs and thumbed my nose madly at them whilst blowing raspberries.  But I didn’t.  ‘Cause I’m a grown up.  At least that’s what it says on my driver’s license…

…and THAT’S plastic, so hey, it MUST be official, hmmm?

::another sigh:: long day

Now where did I put that beer?

let's hope so, kittehs...